Gratitude In Motion
How to find your balance and stay present during the holidays.
Threading the holiday needle between my family-of-origin and my created-family is always a tricky task. I try to be grateful for the whole tapestry of who I am and where I come from, but it does not occur naturally—I have to cultivate it. Therapy has played a big part in helping unlearn my default of shame and self-criticism and shift instead towards cultivating genuine celebration and appreciation for all parts of life.
The key for me is to plan a day with a series of family centered activities that are handmade, simple, and authentically express what brings us joyfully together over the holidays.
So, after many years of trial and correction, here’s my list for you, your kids, and your partner, (and your entire extended family to boot!) to be able to lean in and contact true feelings of abundance and gratitude this Thanksgiving.
Begin With Being Present
Set your work and phone boundaries—decide when you want to be OOO and unplug. Constantly checking your work will only cause stress and that unyielding feeling of never doing enough anywhere. Choose your holiday or choose your work and draw a line between them for a day or two.Move That Body!
This one is non-negotiable for me. Take just 30-45 minutes of the day to exercise and get your body moving. It’s essential to being able to hold, feel, and stay present with your family. Get outside together and enjoy a post-meal walk, do a video (check out my Thanksgiving Special—do it on repeat all weekend!) or even make a hopscotch board in your hallway and play with your kids (if you’re afraid to jump, head over to Phase 1, Week 1 and we’ll get that pelvic floor issue cleared up!).
Ken and I trade workout times and we plan the cooking accordingly. Meaning, I work out first, he gets the food in the oven, then we trade. I usually head into the kitchen and hit the pie production while he gets in his workout. At the end, we both feel accomplished, energized, and mentally ready for the day!We Put Turkey On Time-Out
Turkey isn’t part of our Thanksgiving spread—it’s just too much food, takes too long, and we all prefer local, organic chickens instead. The focus here, though, is on moderation, not gluttony and overconsumption, which destroy the true meaning of gratitude. Keep it simple, choose a few dishes that you love like sweet potatoes with marshmallows (mmmm!), braised kale, cornbread stuffing (that’s my must-have!), Ken's cranberry sauce (that’s his!), an apple or pumpkin pie…and we are good to go!Nature Makes It Nice
Go for a walk outside with your family and invite everyone to gather a couple of natural objects that they find beautiful (think: pinecones and fall leaves!) and bring them home to create a unique center-piece for the day. We also include a single beeswax candle in the center of the nature wreath to serve as our touch-point for giving thanks when lighting it at the beginning of our meal.Gratitude At The Table
Invite the kids to take a few pieces of paper and color one side (this helps keep them busy for a few minutes, too!). Then, cut them into strips and place them in a basket with a few pens. Before dinner, everyone takes a strip and writes what they are grateful for this year then places it back in the basket. At the start of the meal, the basket is passed around and everyone pulls out a ‘grateful’ and reads it out loud. We finish by thanking the earth, farmers, and family for our meal and wish for blessings and peace to all. It’s simple and circumvents the religious pitfalls of blended family moments, while retaining spiritual connection to our earth and to each other.Try To Keep the TV Off
Instead of TV, consider cooking together, playing board games, and taking a group walk after your meal. I know…football, but maybe only part of the game? Involving your children in the day is what actually generates the experience of deep connection that we all yearn for. Doing everything yourself, leaves you feeling burnt out and exhausted—sure you get that ping of “I did it!” but that deep joy you look forward to actually comes from relating to your children and creating the day together.
Happy Thanksgiving. The day will go slower and the kids will throw flour everywhere, and you will feel so rich in life and love!
If you’re looking for more attitude of gratitude to add to your holiday table, I love reading the following poem to my friends and family this time of year.
WHAT WE NEED IS HERE
Geese appear high over us,
pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,
as in love or sleep, holds
them to their way, clear
in the ancient faith: what we need
is here. And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye,
clear. What we need is here.